At the end of the day, after homework and chores, soccer/baseball/piano practice, after nagging to pick up toys/ clothes/ shoes/ don’t bring the lizard into the house I don’t care if it is orphaned, after baths and brushed teeth and reading Hop on Pop and singing the favorite song and saying prayers and wait you didn’t practice our memory verses (children become spiritually enthusiastic if it delays bedtime)and doing the correct night-time kisses (butterfly/Eskimo/ big hug, in that order) and making sure nothing is in the closet/under the bed/ behind the curtain, and the night-light is turned on and the door isn’t shut and getting a glass of water, (“me too!” “I don’t like water” “This water is too cold”) and finally going to bed, (wait, someone needs to go tinkle, not by themselves, wait, someone didn’t pull their pants down all the way we need to change into a new pair of pjs, wait, they are in the laundry, here just wear a t-shirt but I’m cold just wear it!!!)
Ok, everyone is in bed, you tip toe down the stairs, ignore the sink that isn’t sparkling like Flylady says and head for the sofa… ahhhhhhhh. Now you have time to do the one thing that can bring you complete and utter joy after a long day….
Bad television.
How can I possibly justify it? What can I say? I watch too much bad television. Do you know when you can tell you have watched too much bad telly? When you begin sentences with “Oprah says…” Or worse: “Tim Gunn says…” Or even worse: “ Suzanne Somers says…” (and if you know those names, you live in my world, my friend.)
Seriously, what can be better after a day of making meals with a main ingredient of cheese or peanut butter, than watching “Top Chef?” I would like to see those guys try to pull it off. Sure, you can make duck confit on an airplane, but can you satisfy the palate of four children under nine who still, no matter what disciplinary action is taken, can’t resist pointing to the plate and saying “What’s THAT?” Please. You people are novices.
My favorite show used to be “Fashion Runway.” I loved the way the judges gave the designers projects that were next to impossible to complete, and then, totally ripped their creations to shreds. For example: make an outfit out of items you can purchase at a drugstore for $25. One of the judges scoffed and said: “Please, that dress looks like it was made out of a lawn chair!” Um, that’s because it IS made out of a lawn chair!!!
And then there is Super Nanny, which is surreal to watch because it is on late and I am usually dozing in and out of consciousness. Wait. That can’t have happened. Did that mother really agree to allow television cameras to follow her around during the day (and night!) and record her parenting? On national television??!! Do they pay these people? There is no amount of money that could override my enormous ego and get me to do that. No way. And then have a saucy British woman, no matter how clever and savvy with children she is, comment? (“Put him in the naughty chair, mummy! The naughty chair!”) She would leave with a limp.
Yes, perhaps it’s time to turn the channel. Or, just go to bed. That’s what Super Nanny would do, anyway.
Ok, everyone is in bed, you tip toe down the stairs, ignore the sink that isn’t sparkling like Flylady says and head for the sofa… ahhhhhhhh. Now you have time to do the one thing that can bring you complete and utter joy after a long day….
Bad television.
How can I possibly justify it? What can I say? I watch too much bad television. Do you know when you can tell you have watched too much bad telly? When you begin sentences with “Oprah says…” Or worse: “Tim Gunn says…” Or even worse: “ Suzanne Somers says…” (and if you know those names, you live in my world, my friend.)
Seriously, what can be better after a day of making meals with a main ingredient of cheese or peanut butter, than watching “Top Chef?” I would like to see those guys try to pull it off. Sure, you can make duck confit on an airplane, but can you satisfy the palate of four children under nine who still, no matter what disciplinary action is taken, can’t resist pointing to the plate and saying “What’s THAT?” Please. You people are novices.
My favorite show used to be “Fashion Runway.” I loved the way the judges gave the designers projects that were next to impossible to complete, and then, totally ripped their creations to shreds. For example: make an outfit out of items you can purchase at a drugstore for $25. One of the judges scoffed and said: “Please, that dress looks like it was made out of a lawn chair!” Um, that’s because it IS made out of a lawn chair!!!
And then there is Super Nanny, which is surreal to watch because it is on late and I am usually dozing in and out of consciousness. Wait. That can’t have happened. Did that mother really agree to allow television cameras to follow her around during the day (and night!) and record her parenting? On national television??!! Do they pay these people? There is no amount of money that could override my enormous ego and get me to do that. No way. And then have a saucy British woman, no matter how clever and savvy with children she is, comment? (“Put him in the naughty chair, mummy! The naughty chair!”) She would leave with a limp.
Yes, perhaps it’s time to turn the channel. Or, just go to bed. That’s what Super Nanny would do, anyway.
Written by Robin Braun St. Denis, mother of 4 of the six children on her couch above.
2 comments:
Your description of evenings in your home sounds remarkably like mine! I do find myself watching Supernanny on occasion and being quite encouraged by it... Why, on my worst day I'm not nearly as bad as THAT mom, and on their worst day my kids aren't nearly THAT rotten! It makes me feel better, in a twisted kind of way!
Sandra Hendricks just told me about the "Braun" girls blog and I am so happy to have found it! What a relief to know I'm not the only one w/o a sparkling sink at the end of the day and that Bible verses aren't remembered until the last minute! What a reward. Keep up the great writing. :)
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